If I'm still around to hear you

Mouth and mind disconnected,
As if infected by some strange disease.
Words once as numerous as the stars,
Leave me to stand alone in the darkness.
Words leap off the page and vanish.
My creativity famished, and my pantry empty.
What’s a writer to do, when the ink’s run dry?
And I have nothing but tears to wet his pen with.

Readers wait in earnest expectation.
I ball my fists in frustration, as I hand out excuses.
Denial compels me to struggle on,
It can’t all be gone. I’m just not trying hard enough.
Yet reality stands like a knife.
Poised to take my life, as payment for my failure.
These very words my final hope.
Written in sweat and blood upon this paper.

Tell me that you love it later,
If I’m still around to hear you.

Summer Rose

Mine eyes beheld the beauty
Of a glorious summer rose.
My fingers pricked by cupids thorns,
Her perfume in my nose.

Like the apple of a wicked witch
It only took one bite.
As I fell into the arms of love,
And slept all through the night.

And when I woke, I thought it might,
have been but just a dream.
If not for petals found upon my chest.
And upon my finger a wedding ring.

Day Dreams

When my mind wandered, like a river wild.
Down mountains steep, and rivers wide.
I tried to hold back the tide, but it overtook me.
Sweeping me away, in a torrent of thoughts and emotions.

Hope like driftwood upon the raging sea.
Dreams the very waves which threatened me.
No boats to see, no land to be found.
I clung to life for fear I’d drown.

Then eyelids like clouds gave way to the sun.
And a thunderous yawn, brings eyes every one.
To me on the coach, who for a moment was gone.
But worry not friends I’m awake party on.

Wishes

Pocket full of wishes,
Hand full of change.
Into the well,
Water rippled as they fell.
Obscuring my reflection.
So many misconceptions,
About what I’m doing here.
Nothing happened,
What a waste.
I should be disgraced,
I could have spent it at Starbucks.
I could be drinking a latte,
In the air condition on this hot day.
Instead I’m standing here with empty pockets.
Tom Hanks said life was like a box of chocolates,
And all mine just melted into a pool.
I’m such a fool.
Why did I even come here?
Am I so full of fear,
That I’m reduced to making wishes?

Maybe, Maybe Not

Change is hard, or so they say.
But some times it’s hardest when things stay the same.
When you want so much to leave.
But you fear here is where your most needed.
It’s frustrating to feel like your stuck in the mud,
Like your going nowhere, and accomplishing nothing.
But what if nothing is something?
What if nothing is everything to someone else?
What if your life is like a rope?
Either a lifeline or a noose, but you have to choose.
What if you choose wrong?
What if you cut short someone’s song,
Because you refused to stay and play your part.
What if God is like Mozart?
Creating a symphony of lives.
But it’s all wrong because your playing ragtime.
Then again maybe this is jazz.
Maybe this is your solo.
Maybe the spot light is on and it’s your time to shine.
Maybe,
But then again maybe not.

Looking for somewhere I’ve never been

I take a deep breath, and try to concentrate.
I try to see what’s ahead, but I can’t see past this moment.
I begin to hesitate, to second guess my direction.
I spin in circles, it makes me dizzy.
Now I truly have no idea which way to go.
I’m not even sure from where I came.
All I see is sand stretching out in every direction.
My landmarks ever moving like the waves of the sea.
Sweat stings my eyes,
I’m so thirsty, but my jug is empty.
Mirages form and melt like butter before me.
Enticing me with their virtues,
Then leaving me with nothing but handfuls of sand.
Why did I come here?
What made me think that greatness waited beyond this barren sea?
Here ignorance is deadly, innocence is exploited,
Dreams wither and die in the heat of the day.
Who am I, but a lost soul upon the sands of time?
A dreamer, a poet, so far removed from his element
As to be an alien in a land of serpents.
I am but a man, in a world which demands a hero.
I can’t save myself, how can I save the world?
Growing weaker now,
By the day, by the hour, by the minute.
I thought I had a destiny,
But I’m just a poor boy from Hebron.
I feel a cool breeze blow, hope but a gentle whisper.
Like the kiss of angels upon my sun scorched neck.
One step, then another; blindly I stumble on.
Looking for somewhere I’ve never been.

Upon this terrace I am found

Upon the rose covered terrace,
The lonely woman sits and stares.
Out across the shingled waves,
She wonders, “Would anybody care?
If I should pass within the graves?

Would anyone’s mind falter,
As they read my name upon the stone.
Would anyone even be there?
Or would they bury me alone?

My landlord might note the missing rent,
My boss that I am late.
But I have no man to miss my hand, at our next dinner date.

The blue bird might miss the pile of seeds I leave upon the morrow,
Some might even hear him sing, a song of hungry sorrow.

The birds may note I’m gone it’s true, yet should I expect the same from you?

You never noticed me before, when I passed you on the lawn.
And when I tried to smile and wave, you quickly carried on.

I’m not sure what I ever saw in you.
Your handsome and charming,
Though I dare say I should find your treatment of me alarming.

I should know that you’re the problem
Yet I feel that I’m to blame.
For if only I were prettier,
There’d be no stopping passion’s flame.

Yet I’m not as pretty as she,
My legs are not as long and fair
My size a bit too round.
I do not have her golden hair,
And so upon this terrace I am found.”

Because She's There

Here’s to the girl on the corner, with no last name.
Standing in the rain, feeling heartache and shame.
She traded her body for dollars, her pimps poppin’ their collars.
They took her to a motel room, where she could scream and holler.
She was looking for love, now she’s shooting the drugs.
Scorned by her daddy, when what she needed was hugs.
Now she’s lost and alone, so far from home, Crying out to God won’t you throw me a bone?
Standing used and abused, in high heeled shoes.
If he’s an under cover cop, she’ll be making the news.
But she has no such luck, all he wants is a fuck.
She wishes she could get out now, but she thinks she’s stuck.
So with tears in her eyes, she looks up to the skies.
Acting out the passion and the lover’s cries.
And when the customers gone, she puts her clothes back on.
Back to walking the night until it turns to dawn.
She’s just like meat in a market,
Make your choice, drive up, pay and park it.
She’ll do whatever you ask, as long as you pay in cash.
Take what you want and never look back.
It’s sad really, how we go around all willy-nilly.
Cutting the roses and crushing the lilies.
God’s children sacrificed on an altar of pleasure.
Ignorance and lust in equal measure.
So this goes out to the girl on the corner,
For when she’s dead there’ll be no one to mourn her.
For we turn up our noses at her wickedness,
Ignorantly heaping blame upon her innocence.
What if we were there in her shoes?
Wouldn’t we want someone to care about the hurt and abused?
I know if I was lost, alone, hurt and abused, standing on the corner in high heeled shoes.
I’d want someone to care, instead of point and stare.
So this goes out to that girl, because she’s there.

Without you

I can’t sleep until I reach exhaustion.
I can’t breathe for lack of oxygen.
I can’t think for my mind wanders.
For you’ve left me to travel yonder.

Without you my life is incomplete.
There is a hole in my heart, it can not beat.
I’m going crazy, I’m losing my mind.
I certainly hope you make it back in time.

What am I to do, but sit and wait.
Like a lonely beggar by the city gate.
Searching for shade in noon day sun.
Wondering if I still have the strength to carry on.

Do I still have the hope, the dreams, the faith.
To trust you’ll return to this desolate place.
To return unto me my heart and soul.
So once again I may be whole.

A night with you

Delicious desire,
A tingling touch that shocks the nerves
Skin on fire,
It seers my soul, as I’m touching you.
Our bodies unit,
What a beautiful sight.
Sailing thru the stars,
By the pale moon light.
Our hearts beat as one,
To the sound of the gun.
In a crash of great pleasure,
We return to the earth.
Then in the arms of each other,
All wrapped up in covers.
We listen to angels,
As they sing over us.

Time

Time,
You’re an ever present companion.
You with that rigid, straight legged walk.
Clip, clop; clip, clop.

You never talk,
Only glare at me in silence.
And no matter how fast I run,
You’re never far behind.

I must say Time,
You remind me of an English gent,
In that thin black suit and trousers.
Watching me for hours, with those beady little eyes.

Unfortunately you seem hell-bent on my demise.
Plotting and planning with each passing day.
Nudging me along to my eventual end,
No chance to appreciate where I’ve been.

Even at the last you’ll be there.
With that cold empty stare.
Counting the last few grains of sand,
Pen in hand, ready to sign the papers.

But you know what Time?
I’m going to refuse to die,
Just to spite you.
And if you try and make me I’ll bite you.

I’ll fight you tooth and nail.
And I’m pretty sure I won’t fail.
In fact I’d bet my life on it.
Some might say that’s ironic.

And in the end, one of us will lose.
But now only time will tell if it’s me or you.

This night

The stars rain down upon my drought covered soul.
Like wind over moon lit waters, a shiver, a ripple of laughter.
Fingers dance over silky sun touched curves,
And my heart beats ever faster.

The heat rises; a delicious, tingling fire consuming my inhibitions.
Like a bull in a china shop I can’t stop. For my eyes are fixed upon you.
Time the watcher of all, tonight lies still in our embrace.
Giving depth to this moment; preserving this night.

Our two hearts take flight, crashing thru the heavens like shooting stars.
Like ivy intertwined, two hearts, one life, one family forever.
Alone in the night, yet no fear in our eyes, for we have each other.
This night, this memory will be cherished forever.

Currently Untitled

For buried desire women war.
Abandoned love like blood, hot upon the ground.
Delicious conversation a poor recipe for lovers.
A lustful eye brings all men down.

My love is a candle

My love is a candle

Burning long into the night

Bringing you light when you can't sleep.

My love is a giant comforter

Wrapped about you tight

Protecting you from cold, cruel world.

My love is a bowl of chicken soup

It's good for your soul

And it makes you feel better.

My love is a roller coaster,

It keeps you glued to your seat

And it's a thrill a minute. (at least)

Maybe my love is not all that.

But this love is all I have.

You deserve much more I know.

Yet I pray it is enough,

To keep you evermore.

Pop!

The compass spins,

Giving me vertigo.

Where am I to go?

What am I to do?

What answers false? What answers true?

Am I destined to walk in circles?

Stumbling half-hazard into circumstance,

Meeting blind chance, in a dark alley somewhere south of Pittsburgh?

Who drew this map anyways?

It looks like a six year old with crayons,

Trying to paint the Sistine Chapel by candlelight.

I know it's not right, but I'm unsure where I went wrong.

My life like a country song,

My truck won't start and my dog done me wrong.

But what am I to do?

It's like I'm stuck in an episode of the twilight zone,

All alone, in a hall with no windows and about twenty doors.

Standing on mirrored floors, so I can see that I'm going nowhere. 

It's like I'm in a fun house without the fun.

I've been running on a treadmill and now I'm done.

I've had enough, life's going to change,

My life is an overflowing bathtub,

So I'm pulling the drain.

Now I'm spinning round,

Suction pulling me down,

Holding my breath so I don't drown.

Hope is surging!

New life emerging!

Pop!

The Garden of Love

To your garden of love I came tonight,
And found inside such sweet delight.
The flowers in bloom such a beautiful sight,
That I wanted not to leave.

The blossoms sweet upon the air
I drank of the dew without a care.
I wanted so to linger there,
But alas I had to leave.

So with a smile a closed your little door
With thoughts of what you held in store
When I returned from that yonder shore
To rest again in thee.

Little Rose of Black and Blue

Little rose of black and blue,

Tear-eyed droplets of morning dew.

No one loves this little flower,

Except when comes the midnight hour.

They steal her nectar sweet inside,

Like bugs within her bosom hide.

Kept hidden from the suns sweet rays,

She'll forever in the darkness lay.

Oh, who will mourn this little flower?

When at last arrives her hour.

She never knew a bit of love,

The only one who cared, was far above.

The Valiant Soldier

The angel's tears fall down,

Upon the dusty streets of Baghdad.

Where the valiant soldier falls,

Giving up the life he had.

Why does the soldier come,

To a land that's not his own?

Why does the soldier give his life,

For a place that's not his home?

How does he stand so strong and brave,

As bullets drag him towards the grave?

Does he feel it is his place to save,

A nation so unworthy?

Is it for the flag,the stars and stripes?

Is it for his son, his darling wife?

Is it a simple matter of wrong and right?

Does he find himself honor bound?

So many questions, yet who am I?

To speculate on men who die.

While I in this chair in comfort rest.

The soldier sleeps in an armored vest.

I leave convenient truths to Politicians.

The waving signs is another's mission.

I simply offer you my deepest prayers,

And hope you know that someone cares.

Upon the Road to Somewhere

Behind the times, between the lines.

On the road to somewhere

With the map upside down.

The gauge reads empty. To put it simply,

I'm not sure we'll make it,

Before the sun goes down.

Another static station, breeds aggravation.

My antenna is busted

And I can't hear a thing.

Facing sleep depravation, upon this vacation.

I need to return

To the life that I know.

Life has a notion, an obsessive devotion.

To taking me somewhere,

Though I can't find my way.

I need some direction, some brilliant reflection.

To shine down before me,

And point out the way.

My love for you.

My love for you like a cool breeze blows.
Down thru the caverns of my soul.
Over mountain peaks of inner pride.
Across rivers of passion a mile wide.
To the valley of dreams where we laugh and play.
In the warmth of the sun we waste the day.
In the arms of love we've found our home.
Never more to face a day alone.



This goes out to my wife on Valentines day.

A Faceless Shadow

Words like a fist,
Crash into her flesh.
Leaving bruises unseen,
By the bare naked eye.

With mindless aggression,
And ruthless precision.
He strips off her beauty,
Her dignity, her pride.

Naked before him,
He stabs her with anger.
He beats her with silence,
Leaving tears in her eyes.

And when it is over
She quivers before him.
Yet returns to his bed,
Where she lays down to die.



While I have never personally been involved in an abusive situation. I am aware of it's unfortanit existance in our society. So for this poem I attempted to, at least for a moment, illuminate one such faceless victom. For this is a problem which happens around us no matter where we live, though we seldom see it, or even want to.

Ashamed of Men Like You

Heard you complaining about your problems,
While your wife was nine months due.
Drinking beer and watching Nascar
Boy I’m ashamed of men like you.

You bought flowers just to shut her up,
So you could watch the football game.
Called her fat in front of all your friends,
Since then things have never been the same.

You think you’re all that, and so much more.
As time keeps pressing on.
But one of these days you’ll blink and find,
The best things in life are gone.

Earnhardt is dead,
Your livers gone.
Your daughters grown,
Your wife’s moved on.

The house is cold,
The dog is dead.
Your lying all alone in bed.

You lost your job
The car won’t start
Doc says you’ve got
A troubled heart.

And do you want to know the very best part?
I’m ashamed of men like you,
Yes I’m ashamed of men like you.


Am I a heartless man for feeling so?
When your life has fallen oh so low?
I never wished you ill, I hope you know.
But I’m ashamed of men like you.

You were meant to be her valiant knight
Her strong right hand, her guiding light.
But instead you were her darkest night.
That’s why I’m ashamed of men like you.

Yet maybe there still is time to change,
Time to change a life flowing down the drain.
And if you pull it off, it’s safe to say.
I’ll no longer be ashamed of men like you.

No, I won’t be ashamed of men like you.

An Unwilling Sacrifice

Your illegitimate offering,
The cause of my suffering.
Your thirst for pleasure,
Is the cause of my pain.
How could you abandon me?
Don’t you realize you had a hand in me?
More than a bullet in your gun,
I’m your daughter, I’m your son.


This was inspired by a show on TV about the children of sperm donors. It got me thinking about how one man’s actions however casual or irrelevant he may think they are effect the lives of those who follow. So this goes out to all the children, all the men and women who have found themselves sacrificed upon the altar of some man’s self indulgence. Not to say that the man is always to blame, but maybe we’ll discuss women another day.